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Open letter to Kohl’s

Dear Kohl’s,

I am was your biggest fan. Until my recent interactions with your online store, I have sung your praises to every mom I know. You see, I’m a mom with a 20 month old and another on the way. Buying them quality clothing was difficult before I found you. In the true Valentine spirit, you completed me. This is possibly why my awful experience of late has been such a shock; I never thought our relationship would grow out of the honeymoon phase.

It all started with your emails promising 30% off. You know I love it when you send me discounts but you had a little something extra up your sleeve didn’t you? Not only were you having a great discount, you had a large selection of clearance items as well. There was absolutely no way I could say “no” to all of these savings you offered me. Thirteen items in my cart later and I had decided to call it a day. I must say, you really know how to spoil a girl!

Like a hawk, I kept a watchful eye on my shipment tracking via UPS. On Wednesday, January 22nd UPS updated the status as delivered! Oh what a wonderful day; I couldn’t wait to leave work to open all of the lovely merchandise I had purchased from you. To help pass the time, I checked UPS to see how many joyful packages I could expect at my front door. Three! Three wonderful bags of clothes for my munchkins and a little something extra for myself!

To my chagrin, only two wonderful packages lay at my doorstep. This struck me as odd but since our relationship had been so great up to this point I decided to trust you, dear Kohl’s. It just wasn’t like you to disappoint and I figured I could give you another day to prove you hadn’t lied to me. Sadly, the next day led to more confusion since the third package, which was marked as delivered, was still missing from my house. Since you and I have had such a wonderful relationship (up to this point) I called UPS first. I explained what was going on, gave them my tracking information and sat patiently while they went through their records to find out where my third package had gone. Here’s where things get really odd. The third package had been delivered to… ready for this? My billing address.

I really do apologize, Kohl’s, for never updating my billing address after I moved from there a year ago. In my defense I had been told that this really didn’t matter as long as I paid my bill. Since I’ve loved you so, I have always paid my bill on time and with a little extra on the top because you deserve it. This still struck me as odd since two of the three packages arrived at the correct location, while one did not. I called your customer service line and, after explaining everything to her, she explained to me that the address must have been entered by me. This is when I asked her this question:

If I requested that my order be shipped to my billing address, then why did two of my packages arrive at my actual house?

She placed me on hold to put in a tracking ticket and this is when my phone decided to drop the call. This was probably for the better because I truly did not want to be angry with you Kohl’s. Besides, UPS had actually offered to contact my old landlord to pick up the wrongly delivered package and I felt their wish to resolve all of this was enough for me. The next day, I decided to email your customer service. You see, I really like having everything in writing since it tends to be so helpful in relationships such as ours. Through my correspondence with your online customer service reps, I was told that records showed that I was the last one logged into my account which meant I must have been the one to enter the incorrect address. I posed the same question I had asked over the phone:

If I requested that my order be shipped to my billing address, then why did two of my packages arrive at my actual house?

Not only was this question completely ignored, the representatives continued to say I was to blame for this whole thing. Kohl’s… did I forget your birthday? Or our anniversary? Because this seems like a very passive aggressive squabble. I decided to take matters into my own hands and investigate my online account a little further. What I discovered there was a large mess! Every address in my records reflected my billing address, including past orders that had been shipped and delivered to other locations. I know that when you’re in a relationship you care about, you’ll do what you can to show the other when it must not have been your fault. I brought this new discovery to your online customer service but I was met with the same attitude: they all blamed me for this issue. While I think it’s great that you think so highly of my hacking skills, I must admit that I barely know how to “hack” my son’s LeapTop, let alone change coding on your website. Again, I posed the same question:

If I requested that my order be shipped to my billing address, then why did two of my packages arrive at my actual house?

Would you like to know how many customer service reps have answered this question? Zero. They have all ignored this. The last I heard from you (because, yes, I have been dealing with this since January 23, 2014) I was told that this was all my mistake and that was the end of this whole thing. I may be pregnant and hormonal, but quite frankly I am tired of being treated this way by representatives that have not tried in the least to resolve this problem.

Actually, that’s not true. One single representative did promise me a refund on all of the items if I would send the codes for the items. I did so immediately on January 24, 2014. I just checked my online records and I have not been refunded for a single item. FYI, there are nine items I am missing. My dear Kohl’s, I feel like our relationship may need to go on a break for a while. Especially when you have made mistakes but have blamed me every time. Especially when you refuse to answer the one question I have been asking this whole time that just proves the fault is on your end.

If I requested that my order be shipped to my billing address, then why did two of my packages arrive at my actual house?

Since you have made no effort to remedy this issue, I have called my old apartment manager. I would like to point out that this place is in a very unfavorable part of town. People sell drugs in the parking lot, teenagers with guns hanging out of their pants run through the yard, and packages are stolen when placed outside of doors. According to the manager, this package had not been brought into the office and it was possible the recipient may have sent it back. This is what I’m calling the “best case scenario” which actually means “a snowball’s chance in hell scenario.”

So where do we stand now in our relationship? Well, I have requested to know when I will be receiving my refund for the items you sent incorrectly. I have also asked the same question that I have been asking this whole time that you have avoided each time. Until I hear back from you with an actual resolution, I think I should start seeing other stores.

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