I’m realizing that Little K’s and my good days and bad days highly depend on my level of “momfidence.” It’s odd how small things can seem like the end of the world (thank you hormones and sleep deprivation!) and yet small victories can really boost your confidence in being a great mom.
Killian and I met with his doctor for his 2 week appointment on Tuesday and we were very surprised to find that he had not gained a single ounce. He was still only 6 lbs 15 oz. But I was still very dedicated to figuring out breastfeeding. We set up an appointment with a different lactation consultant for Friday to weigh K in and to talk about what I can do to better help him gain the weight he needs. We went back home and admittedly, I felt pretty bad. Not exactly like I was failing my little man, but close enough.
I asked for advice from friends, I asked for advice from my La Leche chapter and I read a few online articles. I even watched the Dunstan baby language video over and over and over. I began to realize that our first lactation consultant had given us some bad advice. Either that or we had completely misunderstood her. But we had been putting Killian on a very strict eating schedule. He got to nurse for 30 minutes and only every 2 1/2 to 3 hours. If he got hungry before then, we thought we weren’t supposed to feed him until it hit the 2 1/2 hour mark. Add to that that we didn’t know why he needed to switch breasts and of course Little K was only getting enough to sustain his weight and not gaining. So I decided at that moment that Killian was going to be allowed to dictate his own feeding schedule. Whether that meant that he ate for 10 minutes and then 2 hours later he ate for 40 minutes then so be it! He knew what his little tummy needed a lot better than some schedule. Apparently, this is exactly what he needed the whole time. On Friday, we found out that he gained close to 3 ounces in 3 days and our lactation consultant and I celebrated in the little exam room. (Positive points for momfidence!!)
I guess the lesson learned here (and one that I’ll continue trying to learn every day) is that it’s impossible to be a perfect mom. It’s impossible to give your kiddo exactly what they need at exactly the right time.But it’s perfectly possible to be a great mom and to give your kiddo your absolute best. It’s perfectly possible to troubleshoot, to listen to your kiddo and to interpret what they want and need, even if you don’t get it right the first time. Parents aren’t perfect, and that’s perfectly okay. It certainly helps to have positive results at the doctor’s office. And if you’re lucky like me, you have a husband that tells you every night, after you drag your exhausted body to bed, that you’re doing an amazing job as a mom. Definitely positive points for momfidence. 🙂